So I have been on a roll, of feeling really great! Doing all my inner work, meditating, reading, working out, eating better... all that stuff is great, but then there's the relationship stuff. I'd rather really just forget there are such things at this point, but I know that's not gonna happen. You need people around you.... although I do not need a man in my life. Not in the romantic sense... not sure that I am done with that, but I am certainly taking a nice long break to figure out why I keep attracting essentially the same crap over and over.
Normally moving on from a relationship sucks... but when there is a kid involved, and an abusive ex... things get stupid really quick. I am feeling the pressure these days... I have not received child support in, well going on two years really. Although I did get some last year, one time... only because they took tax return money to pay some of the back support. So he's an asshat, cause supposedly he owns two businesses that are doing well... but I already knew he was an asshat... that's why I kicked his sorry ass out!
Of course, do I go on and find a good man? Well sort of, but not really. The next one was not abusive, just totally unavailable emotionally, and totally misrepresented who he was. I am clear who I am, and I was totally upfront about it... but a year and a half later, and they guy decides, maybe he wants to be single, and he does not like the city (where we live and met). Of I am honest, the relationship was hardly fulfilling anyway... I give up. At least for a while. I have no clue how to trust a relationship type thing right now anyway.
So here I am jobless, about to have to move out of my apt, and not sure what I am gonna do, how I am gonna support my son and I, where I will go... everything feels so huge right now.
I guess they can't all be good days...
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