These last few weeks have been trans formative for me it seems. I feel as if I have been dropping weight after weight from my past, from my childhood, self views, past relationships are becoming more clear to me, and I am seeing my part in creating all that I have experienced. I am practicing and learning ways to stay in a happy place, no matter what is going on around me. I can not say I have always been successful, but I am certainly getting there. Thing are falling back into place in my mind, my creativity, my fitness, my view of my future.  I am not so much learning, as remembering.

I feel like those connect the dot pictures, I could see the dots, but they just seemed random, and I could not see the bigger picture from the dots. Now I feel like the dots are being connected, and I am able to stand back on go... OOOOOHHHHH so that is what it all is!

In my eagerness to share what I am learning I think I may be pushing some people away, unmeaningly. The studying I am doing, says that if you are not getting resistance from others, you are not there quite yet. I am seeing some people seem to fall away. I am learning to stand in my truth, weather they join me there or not. And I am letting go of the need, for them to join me. I realized, I spent I lot of my life trying to "fix" what others did not want fixed, or said they did, but in actuality, their behavior showed otherwise. I used to see only the good in people, but over time, and with the help of others, I started to let go of that. I thought it would serve me better to see people "as they really are"... well, I am learning that what I had before, the ability to see the good in all... was not a bad thing at all. It meant I was more connected to source, and thus was seeing them through the eyes of source, and since source does not see anything "wrong" with any of us, that is how I would see them. Now some of those people WERE really great, and really were who I thought they were. Others were disappointing  because they did not live up to what I saw them as. Now one might think that means they are the issue, I certainly did for a long time. BUT I have now realized that it is their choice to be who they really are, or not. My expecting them to live up to it, was the issue, not their choice not to. I have no idea what lessons they came to learn, or what their purpose is. Maybe it is to experience disconnect with themselves to learn to find themselves, or just to experience being disconnected. In any case  their decisions should not keep me from being connected to my source, and if it does, then I need to work on my connection.